Say A Little Prayer

I took a day off from work last week.

After running a few errands, I managed to finish early and decided to pop in St. Patrick's Catherdral for some much needed meditation and prayer time.

This cathedral is a marvel, and everyone knows it. Unfortunately, every single time I've visited a different part is under renovation. I do hope that one day I will have the chance to see this landmark in all it's renovated glory.

The gothic architecture in St. Patrick's always reminds me of one of my classes in university, MARKET1, where our professor held a one-off special lecture about art in advertising. We studied all kinds of art movements and how they were reflected in modern advertising. We even had quizzes and had to bring examples of which advertisments we thought was influenced by which movement (it was a nerve-wrecking exercise!). 

I bring this up because I think about it a lot when I look around, not only St. Patrick's Catherdral, but in New York city in general. It is a melting pot of art influences and artists. I love being smack-dab in the middle of it all!

Another thing I about churches (which are often gothic in design) are the stained glass windows. Take a look at these beauties!

I often stare at them during mass and just wonder about the process of making them. Who conceptualizes them and just how is glass stained and molded to fit the panels? I'd love to take a class on the principles!

But my main purpose for the visit was prayer and it's exactly what I did. I find that even if I don't consider myself a devout or religious person, being in chirch or going to mass is a meditative, reflective experience. It gives me time to think and yet not be stressed about my thoughts. I've gone to chapels and churches for ten minutes of prayer since I was in college. It really helps me think and feel comforted. Perhaps someone, God, is really listening and taken the burden away from me. 

St. Jude is the patron said of desperate causes. I cannot tell you how much I believe praying to him has helped me over the years. Anything from a lost bracelet to a midterm exam, defending my thesis to finding a job for me and my family--I have always prayed to him. It felt good to offer a prayer here through him.

Every now and then, we need some time to reconnect with ourselves and our beliefs. In my case, prayer helps. Sometimes, we forget to pray and only do so when we need something. But it is also good to visit whenever we can to just reconnect and give thanks. :)

Tuttah,

Mishie

Drained and Exhausted

Hullo all,

I usually try my gosh-darn hardest not to talk about anything too personal on this blog--or on social media in general--regardless if it's happy or sad. And as much as possible, I would like to surround myself (and eventually, my memories) with happy thoughts--most especially since I am usually treading the line between optimist and pessimist.

In any case, the past few months for me have been more than just a little bit interesting. The thing I want to talk about the most, is what I need to be most vague about. I can't bring myself to say anything in detail (because I remember my reaction to reading my high school blog--yikes). 

I've experienced a lot of things I can say with full confidence that I haven't been able to in, literally, all my life. And, in more ways than one, I've come to feel and learn things about myself that I didn't think I would find out until way later. Everything from capabilities I didn't know I had, to patience I didn't know I could practice, to flaws I didn't know I had within me. It just goes to show that there is still more about yourself that you can find out, even if you claim to know yourself. 

I also have to admit that I've made mistakes--mistakes that I have accepted, but still make me very sad, even tearful at times. And no matter how many times I look back, analyze, point out what I could have done differently, what's done is done. Even if I have tried to remedy things, it's difficult. 

There are too many what if's and too many things that I want to happen at this point, and to be honest, it's all about to make my head explode. For the past few weeks, my general mood has made me want to cry, drink, dance, scream, run, punch and eat my heart out. And I have gone from sad to furious, but all I am now is just very confused. 

Not only is the situation confusing, but I have no clue how to conduct myself. One day I'm thinking "Yes, this is definitely what I should do. This is the situation and this is my plan of action." and the next, "No, maybe that will make things worse. I don't want to do that. Should I do that? I don't know what it all means." And I end up going through the cry, drink, dance, scream motions again. 

There are also things that I am now itching to do more than ever--the first and foremost is to have my own space. I do have a little of that here. But my current living situation won't last for long. I have made it known to my family that I want to be able to try going out on my own soon, and it surprised me that they haven't been as receptive as I thought they would be. This obviously disappoints me. There are a lot of contradictions regarding their reaction that I don't quite get and I don't know how to deal with. The thing that they probably have not known (because I did't really mention it to anyone) is that even before coming to the U.S., I've had this idea of living on my own. It is not at all because I don't want to be with them. I love my family and I appreciate all that they've done for me, but it is a phase I always knew I would go through. I know for sure that it is something I need for myself, and an experience I would learn so much from. Whether that experience will be good or bad remains to be seen. But I have already planted those seeds of thought in my parents' minds, so I do plan on following through with it. I don't want it to come as a surprise, but I also don't want it to create any tension amongst us. I have been saving and doing my research, but just this one thought alone has given me major anxiety. 

Another thing that has been worrying me has been my lack of a social life. It's been difficult, I realized to have my friends so far from me. Social media has made it so easy for us to talk, but nothing beats having them physically around you, having a drink together, or just be in the same timezone. And with the past events of the last couple of weeks, I just wish it were easy for me to call on them and just get lost in each other's company. Now I can't help but feel like a nagging high schooler that can't decide on what to do. It makes me feel like a needy friend, but I don't want to pretend that I'm okay, when I'm not. 

I have been trying to concentrate and do things to keep my occupied. I have been drawing more and getting back into exercise. I've gotten started on reading again and watching more movies which I have been meaning to get back into. Yet, in the midst of it all, when my mind decides that it wants to preoccupy itself with something, it will find a way to multitask. In short, I haven't been very successful. I'm trying so hard though, which is probably why I feel so drained all the time. 

Drained and exhausted. That is what I feel all the time now. There are so many questions I'd like answers to, but so little energy to handle what I might hear--I don't know if I'd be able to take the answers even if I were granted them. 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, there always is but I have to be patient. Ah, patience. I should get a dog and name it that. I could use Patience for company, badly.

I needed this writing release. I hope I can overcome all these challenges. 

Tuttah,

Mishie

The Risk of Weeping

Hullo All,

Determined to get the ball rolling with my path to Visual Development (like spiritual enlightenment), I've decided to take on some art challenges to hone my skills.

So, I turned to the Internet for ideas and came up with these awesome prompts/challenges for artists.

Challenge #1: Make a book cover for your favorite classic novel. 

Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

While not really a classic novel, this novella really means a lot to me. When I first read it in senior year, the story is so meaningful and full of explorations about life, humanity and love.

"One runs the risk of weeping, if one lets himself be tamed."

Back then, we had been given a project to make a project of any sort inspired by The Little Prince.  I had made a journal, sketch, scrap book. I chose my favorite quotes, made illustrations and then essays about why those quotes meant a lot to me. I put a lot of heart and of myself into that work that year. The best works were displayed in the school lobby for the whole school to see. My work was not one of those displayed. But, to my surprise, when we got our works back from our teacher, he had slipped in a little note saying that he had really wanted to display my work in the lobby, but thought that my personal thoughts that I shared with him in my project might not be something I'd be comfortable sharing. I treasured his consideration and it meant more to me than having my work displayed. It just showed how much this book has affected me. 

Since then, I've also come up with a few The Little Prince inspired projects. In college, I used the idea to create a Writer's Manual for my Narrative class. I always get high grades when I am inspired by this, because it always triggers passion from me. 

What books have inspired you?

Tuttah,

Mishie

When Words Fail

Hullo All,

I'll tell you: as much as I would like to consider myself a virtuoso with words (okay, maybe virtuoso is too superior-thinking of me--"good" with words, instead), sometimes the truth is that words aren't enough to tell a story, to evoke a feeling or to communicate an emotion. 

So, when words fail, the aid of other senses seems necessary.

And with the lack of words that I've published in the past month or two, hopefully this gives a glimpse of the good that has happened since. Mostly food. And family.

Tuttah,

Mishie

Review and Retrain

Sometimes I feel as if my brain isn't connected to my limbs and phalanges sometimes. It's as if a shot of electricity is put out by a circuit breaker some where in between my shoulders and forearm--a shot that, may I mention, the wirings of my body need to keep active in cyber space. 

The Evolution of Passion and Chaos: a Novella by JapanLover.Me's Resident Mermaid

Aaaand, that title only took me fifteen minutes to come up with! OTL

Before I get into the meat of the “Countdown to the JapanLover.Me Launch” portion, I first want to tell you guys about how I came to be part of the project in the first place, and more importantly, who the heck am I anyway?

Mishie-who-she?

Life Strategy + Vine

Hullo All!

I am ridiculously aware of how I've neglected this blog of mine. I'd offer an excuse but I have none. Let's just say that my fickle-minded brain prioritized other things. As an essay on the Thought Catalog said, "One thing you should do in your 20's is whatever the f*** makes you happy."

Pardon the french, but I found this to be both very true and slightly confusing. 

There are so many things I want to do and achieve in my life. Most people might tell me to focus only on one thing and one thing only to increase my chances of success in that field. But try as I might, I cannot just set aside the other things I want to achieve. Not lucrative they may be as a career, and implausible as they are now with my current skill set, I still want to be able to reach these dreams of mine. They aren't all that practical, but I want to go for them anyway. I know it is what will make me happy, so why deny it to myself? 

Time to have a serious talk with myself. You're welcome to hear my thoughts!

Snow Day

Hullo all!

So if you follow me on either Facebook or Twitter, you'll know that I posted about a snow day we had last week (yes, I know this is a rather late post -- I have an explanation for that!). 

It was a surprise for a lot of people around here although it had been in the news for a couple of days because it is still very much autumn. But the weather reports have been predicting another "storm" of sorts. It's called a Nor'easter. I'm not a science wiz but the pressure and wind all came together to form snow one day, and here we have it!

So pretty!

Actually, I had forgotten my mom saying that there would be snow one day. But I had a habit of looking out the window every so often (probably because that's what I did a lot during the hurricane). My brother calls it as me "watching the TV" because I said that real life was more interesting than the TV sometimes.

SO you can probably imagine my squeal when I lifted the blinds and saw snow for the first time. Ever.

(ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ

It's like the entire street was being covered in confectionary sugar!

When the snow first started falling, it was mixed with some rain. This is called a flurry (McFlurry? Lol). So when the snow flakes drop on you, it instantly turns back into water.  But as the snow continued to fall, they became drier and more solid so that it actually landed as little dots of ice on the pavement.

So, naturally, I had to go outside and touch all the snow!

First snowball! It's origins are quite unglamorous. I got it by the wheel of a car. Haha!

Obviously, ice can get quite slippery and this makes it dangerous. So, the locals here sprinkled some form of salt to make it melt. It's those little ball-looking things that look similar to styrofoam balls you get inside packaging. Uh, right. My flowery descriptions, oh boy.

Mandatory, "I'M IN SNOW" photo.

This pile of snow covered the fire hydrant enough to look like a snowman! We didn't have to do anything to it but poke holes for its face and body!

Not captured in photo: frozen hands. But I don't curr!

Mandatory I-made-a-snow-print photo.

And finally, I have always heard about people wanting to eat snow. My friend was no exception and asked me to eat some ice for them. I, very nicely, obliged.

(I didn't eat the whole thing, though)

In the end, the snow stopped after that one day/night of falling. The following day, the ice started to melt and no more snow fell. But hopefully we'll be seeing more of Snow White come winter!

Tuttah,

Mishie

Let's Go to Manhattan! Part 1

                                                             Disclaimer: Photo Spam ahead.                                                     

Hullo all! 

So this entry is a week in the making because of all the photos. We did so much in our first few days here that there probably was not one corner that I did not take a photo of! But, here we are! I'm so happy to be sharing these because of all the feelings I had during my first trip into The City in over 11 years!

I have to admit that, because I was only 11 years old during my first trip here, I couldn't remember or appreciate what I was seeing/experiencing. So, now I can experience it fully and remember them! :)

                                                             New York City, here I come!                                                          

Making our way to The City via bus! This is one of many pretty-textured buildings we pass on the route!

A clear sign that it's fall: warm-colored trees! This one had a very vibrant orange color!

I bought my temporary phone here!

Multi-level parking area in Manhattan! How is this done? (Seriously, I need an answer! Haha!)

Epic NY Times building is epic.

Broadway!

Bedazzled McDonalds on Broadway!

There are Taylor Swift advertisments all over the place for her new album.

                                                            The World-Famous Times Square                                                  

My NYC look!

My really pretty mum! :)

You haven't gone to The City if you do not visit Times Square.

So many scenes in TV shows and films have played out here on the steps of Times Square!

My brother the photographer.

Awesome LED billboards for American Eagle.

                                                                          Disney Store!!!                                                                     

DISNEY STORE. LET'S GO INSIDE.

(*Warning: Disney-Fangirl Mode ON)

A whole wall for Merida! If you haven't watched Brave, you should--for the amazing CG and art, if not for anything else.

Keychains of my three favorite princesses all side-to-side. Destiny!

I want these lovely sketch shirts!

Renaissance Cinderella art is lovely!

They came out with a revamp of the Disney Villains! These were so amazing! These are notebooks of the Queen of Hearts and Maleficent! 

Cruella De Ville -- if she doesn't scare you, no other thing will!

They've got dolls!!!

I really want this one of Ursula!!!

Mother Gothel.

A whole wall of Disney plush!

Hello, Pascal!

Gigantic Be@rbrick in the Disney store? Hmm.

I'm off to the ball!

Wreck It Ralph merchandise already in store! I can't wait to see this film!

I want this Sugar Rush tee! It's just so cute and pastel-y!

                                                   Walking Adventure + Rockefeller Center + Lego                                       

Time for lunch! Legit New York Pizza style!

Just a bit pricey according to my mom, but I think it was okay for a first-time try!

One of the Must-Visit bakeries of New York! I read about it when I was still back in the Philippines!

 

Oh my, so many sweets!

Red Velvet! Must try!

Nomnom!

Guess where?

Famous for it's skating rink that was built in 2006, but what I love most about this area is the Art Deco style architecture--very 1920-30's.

Lego store in the plaza.

I couldn't agree more!

I built my own!

For all you Spongebob fans!

My ninja camera skills! I found her bag and shoes interesting.

So pretty!

                                                                    St. Peter's Cathedral                                                              

St. Peter's Cathedral two blocks away! We came here the first time in 2001, but we didn't go inside.

I love these sculptures! I love the intricacy and details!

I have a thing for pulpits. Since first hearing about them in Noli Me Tangere, I've always taken photos of pulpits in old churches.

Sax Fifth Avenue! Such pretty window displays!

I love the juxtaposition of old and new buildings in this city. Like in Japan, there is a lovely mesh of the modern and traditional. :)

Guess what we saw next to Cute Souvenirs!

The Philippine Consulate. What a coincidence.

                                                          Grand Central Station, what a sight!                                                

Where's the flashmob?

The world-famous clock! Probably only second to Big Ben!

Lobsters, let's have dinner soon!

Bart and Elmo mugs caught me taking their photo! I want the owl mug behind Bart!

Green Tea Latte after all the walking! It's not the same as I take it at home. :(

Last stop of the day!

Took a panoramic photo from the top! But there is nothing like being there yourself. I wish it didn't have to cost $45 to go up, otherwise I'd be there all the time!

Day 2 Tomorrow!

- Mishie